Hey, hey, hello my people. My citizens and allies. My enemies and neighbors. Hello. Welcome.
The war between the Rangers and the Vikings has grinded to a halt, another stalemate over the town of Canterbury Commons. The Vikings are buried in for defense, protecting the town by any means necessary. The Rangers, on the other hand, are facing a threat of lack of supplies to fuel the war effort, due to recent attacks of caravans transporting goods to the Rangers' outpost outside Canterbury. Who's responsible for the attacks? Well, it's none other than a group of bandits called "the Gladiators." Pricks are too dumb and cowardice to attack villages and cities, so all they do now is block the roads.
However, in the northern regions, the Fallen Empire faces an unforseen threat: Super Mutants. That's right, our Frankensteins have been working their way north, and now they're plaguing themselves onto the citizens living in Baltimore. Oh, and these shits are being especially gruesome, not bothering to take anyone captive. Kill, kill, kill, pillage, and kill are the only words in their vocabulary, and they seem exceedingly talkative as of late. So, if you're heading up north, be on the lookout for big, yellow beasts bearing hunting rifles and Chinese assault rifles; you mistake that fuck for something else, it will be your last wrong turn.
In other news, the Red Eyes have struck up a turf war over drugs within the walls of Starlight City. Up until recently, the Red Eyes had controlled Starlight City and Megaton with an almost omnipotent grasp; no one got in or out of those cities bearing drugs that they didn't know about. However, recently members of the gang have been turning up dead within the city of sin, and no one has yet to be picked for blaim.
The Rivet Rangers, however, barely touch this city. Yes, troops are present within the township, but Starlight has long been dominated by the faction the Starlight Coppers, who have been working on the situation with pmost care. However, its under the supervision of Charles Winton, so hell, they may be causing the problem in the first place. I find it horrid that even in this time of peace, our own citizens have taken to killing each other. Drug wars, riots, murders, all under control by the military.
This brings me to another rant against the goddamn government: law and order. Just a few years back, a problem or disbute could be solved by the simple shot of a gun. Someone steals your shit? Get it back. Someone punches you in the face? Hit him back. Someone rapes your wife? Rape his...er...well, maybe not that one. Well, you get the picture. However, nowadays, these crimes are solved with "investigations," with simulated mockings of Pre-War garbage being used to solve problems. An individual should be allowed to kill his neighbor if he was wronged! Now, no one can pull out a gun without a blast to the stomach. That reminds me, I need to get some stitches.
However, that's not all, folks. Out west, where the sun sets, a certain company of a certain group of mercs that happen to have waged war with us before seem to be mobilizing. And fast. Several large units have been spotted bearing quality gear. Fresh, new armor; clean, new guns; and all the meds one could carry. Odd, seeing how the military was broke just a couple of months ago. So what does this spell out? Well, it could mean war for the Capitalist State. And it could mean that the Talon Company has been receiving additional funding. Either way, we're screwed.
Today's programming was brought to you by Gob's Bar, the place for booze, chems, and the feminine touch. Goodnight, everybody!